On self love and negative mindsets

By Donna Williams

Someone on a fab autie list sent out some wonderful useful stuff on building and practicing self love (under my article below). Problem is that for some folks, their challenging patterns can be impossible to tackle simply as a mind over matter thing. Here’s my comments on that in case its of interest.

One problem with any truly valuable mind over matter work for those with a serious mood disorder or OCD is that whist for some this is a self image/mindset/learned pattern thing, for others they often chemically can’tcontrol this full on ne gative self-hate/shame/guilt/fear/rage stuff so there
is no possibility of mind over matter even if they want that more than
anything (and I’ve blamed myself a million times for not being able to do
this without taking steps to seriously alter both my chemistry and all my
addiction to it and identity/lifestyle invested in it).

Sometimes this can’t just be mind over matter because they’ve become
addicted to the adrenaline of the hatred, fear etc. For those in whom its
just a pattern and mindset, your advice is fab. Those with an addiction to
adrenaline can turn that around if they really get good help to do so.
Those with a mood disorder driving fierce rampant almost manic negativity of
mixed states in bipolar or OCD full on negativity shame/fear/guilt/rage
loops can alter their brain chemistry but only if they address the issue on
all the different fronts- biofeedback to address neurological patterning,
hypnotherapy to address emotional learned patterns at an unconscious level,
detox to stop messing with neurotransmitter imbalance, dietary changes to
get off the ‘drug’ like effects of food allergy/intolerance, supplements for
tweaking neurochemistry and making up for mind-bending nutrient
deficiencies, low dose appropriate medication for what’s left, addressing
mindsets and daily practice in commitment to changing them so you actually
exercise these ‘muscles’ in a new way till they feel natural, altering life
circumstances that feed ill patterns and this can be extremely hard for most
people, relaxation and stress management as a lifestyle not just a dabble,
Taoism or any belief system in which we can look for balance and whole self
acceptance of the good and the bad and living that daily, and being ready to
give up addictions to our own chemistry patterns and ready to embrace a
potentially new self we’ve never known and that’s as hard/harder for these
folks as it can be for drug addicts and these folks may have had these
patterns since early infancy. Many are geared for someone else to ‘make
them’, ‘take them’ or to follow.

It is a journey one can only choose out of
utter commitment not necessarily to self love (and many can’t scrape that up
out of nothing and nowhere) but because one has truly had it with the old
patterns and would give, do, climb whatever mountain to make 10% of change,
then 10% more till those 10% changes add up and light shines through what
was chaos and fog. Many at the end of the day, aren’t willing to do this
one day at a time and we can’t carry them, that’s their life choice. No-one
said the job was easy Super Chicken!


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